Dear my fellow degenerates,
You’ve survived. After a long season of losing money, you’ve finally made it to the best Sunday of the year. Despite your gambling woes throughout the regular season, you have one final football game to bet on until September and honestly, that’s depressing as shit. I’m going to analyze and tell you which bets to take and why to take them for Super Bowl LIII. Some of you may be asking, “Why in God’s name should I listen to the Zahery Zone?” Great question, because I don’t really have an answer, I’m just an average gambler like the rest of you.
Thoughts and Prayers,
The Zahery Zone.
…
The New England Patriots square off against the Los Angeles Rams this upcoming Sunday for Super Bowl LIII. Two of the best teams this season are set to battle one another to hoist the Lombardi Trophy. Will it be Brady and Belichick’s sixth, or Goff and McVay’s first? Brady vs. Goff. Belichick vs. McVay. Age vs. Youth. However you want to script this game, it’s going to live up to the hype.
There are an absurd amount of prop bets that you can toss your hard earned money on, but for this blog, I’m going to focus on the most popular and amusing prop bets and then discuss my thoughts on the game.
Super Bowl LIII National Anthem Prop Bet
With Super Bowl LIII being in Atlanta, Georgia, there’s no better way to start off the most televised sporting event of the year than with Atlanta native, the “Empress of Soul,” Ms. Gladys Knight.
Length of National Anthem (From the start of the first word until the end of brave):
- O/U: 1 minute, 47 seconds
- Over (-160)
- Under (+120)
There is absolutely zero chance this under hits. Gladys Knight is currently 74 years old (God Bless Her Soul) and she is going to milk the shit out of this anthem. Being 74, this will more than likely be the last time she sings the National Anthem on this big of a stage — she’s going to take her time and relish the moment. Smash over 1 minute, 47 seconds.
Super Bowl LIII CoinToss Prop Bet
Heads or Tails
You’re a fucking sicko if you take this bet……………………………………tails.
Super Bowl LIII Announcers Prop Bets
This year the Super Bowl will be broadcasted by CBS, which means Jim Nantz and Tony Romo will be on the call. For Nantz, this is just another walk in the park on Sunday. For Tony, this is the closest he’s gotten to remotely sniffing the Super Bowl – he’s going to come out the gates in a BIG way.
Quarter of Tony Romo’s 1st Correct Play Prediction
- 1Q (-110)
- 2Q (+175)
- 3Q (+550)
- 4Q (+500)
Romo earlier this week predicted the final score would be 28-24 but didn’t say who was going to reign victorious. His final score prediction is the first of MANY, in my opinion, correct play predictions he’ll make. He’s been doing it all year, why stop now? Don’t even think twice about not taking 1Q — your bookie might as well wave a sign in front of your face saying ‘Free Money.’
How many plays will Tony Romo correctly predict before the snap?
- O/U: 7.5
- Over (-120)
- Under (-120)
Tony, Tony, Tony you sick son of a bitch. Over – lock.
How many times will the CBS broadcast mention Rams coach Sean McVay’s age?
- O/U: 1.5
- Over (-190)
- Under (+145)
Sean McVay is currently 33 years old and the youngest head coach in NFL history to take his team to the Super Bowl. There’s a reason why the over is at -190 and that’s because we’re going to hear Tony shout to Nantz, “Oh Jim, can you believe it, Jim, the man is only 33 years old and is in his FIRST Super Bowl, Jim. Can’t get much better than this, huh, Jim?” The entire CBS Broadcast will obsess over Sean McVay’s young age. Lock it in.
Super Bowl LII Color of Gatorade Poured on Winning Coach
Again, this is one of those bets where you’re kind of a psycho if you put some action on it, but I respect the hell out of it.
- Blue (+400)
- Clear (+200)
- No bath (+180)
- Orange (+400)
- Purple (+800)
- Red (+400)
- Yellow/green/lime (+300)
In Bill Belichick’s five Super Bowl Wins, he has only gotten doused twice. One time being with clear and the other being blue Gatorade. The three other victories Belichick has managed to avoid getting soaked with the celebration juice. As of right now, the favorite is either coach will not get drenched after they win.
Over the course of previous Super Bowls, the most popular choice other than clear and nothing at all has been orange. With that line at +400, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to toss some dough on it. At the end of the day, it’s a Gatorade shower, so bet wisely.
“You push on 100% of the bets you don’t take…” – Matt Moon
Super Bowl LIII Betting Line
New England Patriots: -2.5 (-105)
Los Angeles Rams: +2.5 (-115)
Over: 56.5 (-110)
Under: 56.5 (-110)
Pats ML: -145
Rams ML: +125
- Patriots were 9-7 ATS in the regular season
- Rams were 7-7-2 ATS in the regular season
- Both teams are 2-0 ATS in the playoffs
- Both teams are 2-0 ATS after a bye week
- Tom Brady is 3-5 ATS in his 8 Super Bowls appearances
- Since 2000, the underdog is 12-6 ATS in the Super Bowl
- NE averages 28.6 PPG
- LA averages 32.4 PPG
Vegas has officially considered the Patriots the favorite for Super Bowl LIII by 2.5 points. This will be Tom Brady’s 9th Super Bowl appearance, posting a 5-3 record thus far. From all 5 of his Super Bowl wins, Brady’s largest margin of victory has only been 6 when they defeated the Falcons 34-28 in OT of Super Bowl LI. In my opinion, Belichick is going to want to slow down the game and control the clock. I wouldn’t be surprised if they receive the ball to start the game, march downfield, kill 7 minutes off the clock, and score the opening Touchdown with maybe a Sony Michel rushing touchdown (+250). The Rams are a hell of a team and will without question be a force in the NFL for years to come, but I’m taking the GOAT, Belichick and the greatest NFL dynasty of all time versus youth.
Zahery Zone Final Prediction: 27-23 Patriots.
Covering -2.5 and hitting the under 56.5.
Ride or die.
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